Friday, April 15, 2005

Humble Pie (With a Side of STFU)

Yesterday was supposed to be cleaning day, but my OCD will not allow me to tackle the task with any semblence of efficiency. Rather than simply putting things away, I found myself encircled with ticket stubs from Broadway shoes and Euros left over from a trip to Italy... bits and pieces of memorabilia that cannot be parted with. What to do with one man's treasure? It must be lovingly placed in the memorabilia box beneath my bed. However, the memorabilia box was already stuffed full with high school newspaper clippings from my drama club days, cassette tapes of solos at my old church, "coin collections" consisting of Canadian pennies, etc... So rather than clean out the cobwebs in the corners, I perused the cobwebs of my past.

I called CadyBug into my room to see if any of my memorabilia had significance for her. She eagerly collected her baby book and all the cards she received in her first year of life. Unfortunately for CadyBug, she has her mother's OCD and was all to happy to put aside her cleaning tasks to flip through the pages of her baby book.

CadyBug: "Your hair is so blonde...B.L.O.N.D." Mom, you spelled 'blonde' wrong!

Funky: Sorry.

CadyBug: "First New Year's Eve. Had dinner at Grammy and Papaws. Came Home. Boring" Mom! Thanks a lot!

Funky: Well, it was boring. Hell CadyBug, even YOU were bored!

CadyBug: You didn't have to TELL me that! "Five months...tries to stand up... Six months...
G-ma B. bought your first pair of Nike' stand real good!" Real Good? Jesus Mom, who learned you to spoke?

You know - I worked my ass off on that baby book, making sure every gurgle, every step, every smile was lovingly and diligently recorded - making sure that when my daughter was older, she could relive her infancy and know how very much her mother loved her. At thirteen, she marvels in her mother's stupidity. That's what I get for raising my children to be educated and well-spoken. Sigh.