It's My Cruise and I'll Brag if I Want To

So here's a brief recap of day one:

Embarkation:

Hold my bag!
No, hold your own bag!
Come on'! I need help! Hold my bag!
No, stupidhead, hold your own bag!
Mom, he won't hold my bag!
Hold your sister's extra bag.
Hold my bag!
No.

Aboard Ship:
Why do I have to share a room with the girls?
Do you want to share a room with me?
No.
Then you share a room with the girls.
This is stupid. I'm bored.

Sailing Away:
Bartender? Where's the fucking bartender?

Eight Drinks Later(four doubles):
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

10pm:
What do you want to do?
I don't care. Where are the kids?
I don't know.
Perfect.

10:01pm - 11:30pm
Rum
Cigar
Rum
Cigar
Ahhhhh
Casino
Quarters
Shit
Shit
Shit
Yippee!!!
Shit.
Shit.
SHIT!!!
Fuck.

11:30pm - Late night buffet
How's your night, kids?
Fine. Can we go now?
Where's your brother?
I don't know. Can we go now?
We sail into Nassau tomorrow. You guys need to turn in early.
Yeah. Okay. Can we go now?
Here's your pizza, honey. Where did the kids go?
I don't know.
Perfect.

Tomorrow, snorking in Nassau.