Tuesday, December 07, 2004

I'd like to say something clever

I'd like to same something clever, but I'm tapped out. I just finished my term paper for Human Development... 3500 words later and I can't even think about being clever or insightful or witty. Mostly what I do from this point until I recharge is order pizza and watch re-runs of CSI with Cady.
Oh... and then House M.D. comes on tonight. Woot. It's party time.

Okay, so the party is over. It's something like midnight and I should be sound asleep, but I toy with insomnia now and then. I think at times that maybe my insomnia is self-induced. What am I afraid of? I don't have bad dreams, so I shouldn't be so hesistant to fall asleep. The though of crawling under the covers sounds great... maybe it's the part about trying to actually FALL asleep that gets me... that keeps me up so late at night. I miss Michael being here to make me go night-night now. Here is irony: Michael is in Indiana this week... Indianpolis to be exact. The company he reps for is based in Jasper so the big sales meeting is in big ol' Indy. He called last night and said he was looking out his hotel window at the monument-turned-Christmas-Tree... and yeah, that sort of did make me homesick. I don't envy him - having to sit in a convention room all day and listen to executives babble mindlessly about how GREAT the company is, and it would be greater still "if only blah blah blah." There is something I dearly love about my job... very few meetings, AND the bonus is that after two years I have learned to selectively tune out everyone around me. My boss? Charlie Brown's teacher. My other boss? Charlie Brown's teacher. The myriad of people who all act like they are my boss? Wa wa wa wa wa waaaaaaaaa. My husband called me from Indy again tonight and asked me how my day was. I had nothing to report except a distinct recollection of boredom. It was a boring day. I shredded fourteen bags of student records. Woot. Some days fly by... others drag like my ass on Sunday morning.

So I wanted to share something with you. I e-mailed my prof. yesterday to clarify the requirements for the term paper. It was suggested that we go for 2000 words. As previously mentioned, I over-shot the hoop. No matter though - I was encouraged to write as much as I wanted. In addition, I received another piece of encouragement. Here is the text of my professor's e-mail (background: it's an Internet class, so I've never actually met her, though this is my second course with her)
"Make it as long as you want. I'm looking forward to reading it. Again, I have to tell you what I said last time I had the pleasure of your presence in my class: you are an incredibly special student. Your charisma is such that it transcends cyberspace. I've truly never met anyone with such strength of personality that comes through even in e-mails! And I haven't even mentioned intelligence, articulation, insight...I hope someday that you'll surprise me and come meet me in person.

You know, I have re-read that a dozen times since last night. It's not that I love it when people say nice things to me (well, of course I do) but something more... some form of something... remember that drone I made about being destined for greatness? I kind of think I'm more likely to be destined for mediocrity... but maybe there is something to that. After all, isn't it easier to be a big fish in a small pond, then try to swim with the sharks?

I'm looking for something more out of this blogging thing. I want to really start writing more than updates and howdy-do rants. Maybe what I'm trying to say is that I'm thinking maybe I should be the writer my mother always told me I was.

Right now I think I should be the girl under the covers. G'night all. Sweet everythings.