Saturday, April 16, 2005

Random Saturday Morning Thoughts

(1) If this were Mon - Fri, this would Lunch Time Thoughts, not Morning Thoughts.

(2) Why isn't Frontline killing my dog's fleas?

(3) Why do I need to learn about pressure systems and cloud formation in order to graduate from college? I'm teaching elementary school, for Christ's sake. Besides, isn't that what we have weather men for? If I learn this material and teach it to my kids, we'll be putting meteorologists out of work. I'm sorry, but I can't have that on my conscience.

(4) Why would Mother Nature make a perfectly beautiful Saturday if She new I had housework?

(5) Is it a sin against nature to do laundry when it's 72 degrees and sunny?

(6) Why would God create beings with no common sense, then stick a penis on them? It's cruel.

(7) There are more stories about Michael Jackson in the news than there were stories about Abu Graib... the sheer quantity of abuse alone, when applied proportionately, is mind staggering.

(8) Is it too late to enroll my kids in European schools?

(9) Why did they remake Amityville Horror? Haven't we all agreed the first one was bullshit?

(10) Why can't a list simply end at nine? You see, this is why I have an aversion to lists. I just don't need this kind of pressure.

You guys have a lovely weekend. For those of you that wondered, I did not hit the bottle last night. I hit the pillow, but only after reading several chapters of Annie Lamott's "Traveling Mercies." LoveBug was informed of his misstep, but only after he brought me my coffee this morning. Alas, he is cursed with the "whoops" DNA, but blessed with an abundance of everything else. I must be in love. Sheesh.