Friday, June 17, 2005

From the "Duh" Files - Installation 1

In order to cover up the Downing Street Memo bruhaha, our "liberal" media has kindly treated us to the following fluff, all "headline news" on Yahoo's homepage yesterday:

Friends May be the Key to Living Longer
"[Researchers] are not sure why friends seemed to help people live longer. They speculate that friends may influence people to engage in more healthy behavior, such as not smoking or not drinking too much."

So, live it up in Vegas at 70, or live 'till 80 with a gaggle of nagging friends...those are my choices?

Poll: Most Say Stars Make Poor Role Models
"Movie stars don't set a good example," said Earl Ledbetter, a movie fan who lives in Ventura, Calif. "They just don't have the morals," he said. "They marry and divorce, sleep around a lot."

Um, Earl...statistically speaking, so do more than half of "us," as well as most of your senators, school teachers, and (gasp) evangelists. Besides, who really says to their kid, "My, my... would you just look at that [insert celebrity du jour here]? Now that's a solid citizen."

Judge: Texas Girl to Stay in State Custody
"...doctors said the best course of treatment would be to follow the chemotherapy with radiation, and her parents refused. Edward Wernecke, Katie's father, said he feared the radiation would put Katie at a heightened risk for breast cancer, stunt her growth and cause learning problems."

Mr. Wernecke, you know what else causes stunted growth and learning problems? DEATH.

Top Zarqawi aid captured in Iraq's Mosul: US
What? Again? Wow... exactly how many "top aides" does this guy have, and how come they stupidly manage to get caught at the precise moment Bush is getting some bad publicity?

Lawmakers Push Resolution on Iraq Pullout
"After 1,700 deaths, over 12,000 wounded, and $200 billion spent, we believe it is time to have this debate and discussion on this resolution" Jones said.

It's's TIME? How about it's "way the hell past time" Rep. Walter Jones?

"Two years ago, Jones helped lead an effort to ensure Capitol Hill cafeterias retooled their menus to advertise "freedom fries" instead of french fries to protest France's opposition to the war."

Yeah, I'm talking to you, Jackass Jones! While you were busy pushing Freedom Fries down our throats, those kids were just BEGINNING to die. NOW you decide "it's time to have a debate"??? Fuck you, you fucking fuck.