It Takes an Entire Tag to Raise a Blogger

My buddy Robin tagged me with a meme, and so I come off my self-imposed hiatus (my OCD led me to bury myself in online CSS tutorials for the past week) and play along:

The Meme: Pick three professions, then tag away. They are...

If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician... If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter... If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary... If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect... If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist... If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete... If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an innkeeper... If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer... If I could be a backup dancer...If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be a midget stripper... If I could be a proctologist...If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... If I could be an actor...If I could be a judge... If I could be a Jedi...If I could be a mob boss... If I could be a backup singer …If I could be a CEO... If I could be a movie reviewer …If I could be a filmmaker... If I could be a sherpa...If I could be a ninja... If I could be a cab driver...

If I could be a linguist, I would take a job working for the UN as a translator, then I'd incorrectly translate everything the president said...or better yet, I'd accurately translate everything the president said, and then the rest of the world could have a jolly good time laughing at his particular brand of English.

If I could be a proctologist, I would find out exactly what is up James Dobson's ass... and then I'd shove it up so far it would break his vocal chords, rendering him harmless.

If I could be a CEO, I would have enough money to let other people do all the work while I recovered from my various and assorted plastic surgeries.

And I tag the following lovelies:

Mamacita

Marianna

Scotty