Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Life With Sarg - Part VI

Sarg died. I rode with him in the back of the ambulance. I thought ambulances went very fast. This one didn't. I stroked the liver spot on the back of his left hand, pulled on the silky hairs to remind him to hold on. They asked me to wait in the next room. They brought me coffee. Gail and my sister met me there. Gail knew. My sister denied. I prayed.

When Sarg died, he left Gail a widow. He left my sister searching. She'll search the rest of her life for an alcoholic veteran who will worship the ground she walks on. Me he left undone. I wasn't praying for him to live for the sake of life. I prayed for him to hang on long enough to watch CadyBug walk down the aisle, to watch CuddleBug tackle Purdue's quarterback... to watch me graduate from college, or sign a recording contract, or maybe make him proud one more time. I prayed for him to live just long enough for me to know what it is like to love him, and to have that love returned.

When the attending physician told us my dad died at 7:55pm on November 20th 1993, my soul whispered, "So did we."