Sunday, August 06, 2006

Clarification -- Nick Cage and My Sex-less Existance

I'm supposed to be heading for bed, but I just got done driving CadiBug and her friends to their various and assorteds, so I'm not quite ready to give up the ghost. I'm actually more in the mood to chat with you fine folks. So I thought I'd clarify a few things from last week's posts.

Let's talk about my sexless existance for starters, since that's the reason for the Nick Cage dream.

Bottom line, LoveBug and I have a very healthy sex life. For that matter, we have a great relationship in total. There's no issue to pin anything on. Our lack of ugly bumping is most likely due to circumstances beyond our control. For one, we've both been on the road a lot over the last few weeks. I was out of town one weekend, and the next weekend we were visiting relatives. We have this... oh, call it a RULE about not doing the naked tango in our nephew's bed. Since returning from our trips and such, it's sort of been one thing after another. My Aunt Flo, his head cold, etc... So it's not as if I'm neglected or anything of that sort. Additionally, were I so inclined, I do own an arsenal of electronics and plenty of batteries.

So in short, my sexless existance is something that hadn't occurred to me until I woke up the other morning all hot and bothered from my sex dream with Nick.

Now we move on to Nick.

Yes, I find him appealing, but it's not like he's even on The List. The List is something LoveBug and I cooked up over a night of drinking. We each have three people that we mutually agree can be openly lusted over without repercussion. Since you only get three people, I've had to choose them carefully. Occassionally I have to bump one off. For instance, Antonio Banderas was on my list for a long time. But once he hooked up with Melanie Griffith, I had to bump him. In reality, there's no way I'd do him now. He's tainted. The list is occassionally revised. It stands as follows:

(1) John Mayer

(2) John Cusack

(3) Angelina Jolie

So Nick isn't even close to making the list. In fact the runner up, should anyone get bumped by bumping with Paris Hilton, is Dr. McDreamy.

Why Nick was the one I got messy with is beyond me. I haven't seen any of his movies lately, nor do I find him particular attractive in the trailor for the new 9/11 movie. Honestly, what's up with that Village People mustache of his?

This is Funky, and that is all.