Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner

Last night I was minding my own business, goofing off in flickr, when suddenly the url to this blog shows up in a group chat I'm dancing around in.

Just the url

And yeah, my heart stopped for a brief second. And I can't really say why. I think it's because while I can't bring myself to delete this space or the words of the last few years, I'm not really sure I want to claim ownership of them either.

In the year or so (more like two) since I stopped being little miss semi-pro blogger, I've become another person altogether.

Not sure I like her though... but I digress.

I explained in that little chat that I never blog anymore... that I stopped because I ran out of things to say. To which at least one person mocked me.

That's true though. The fire died, and took all my words to the grave.

I thought about coming in here tonight and quickly removing the evidence of who I was before I was found... but I can't do it. Nobody has the right to make me go into hiding. Nobody has the power to put baby in a corner unless she lets them.

And I'm tired of letting them.
Tired of letting him.

Once upon a time I let 30+ years of my life be ripped from me... and I let someone fill all the spaces and holes that were left in me. And now I'm so dependent on being whole because of that person, that I don't know how to be whole without him.

If a funky bug ever had any wisdom to begin with, she would have recognized that.

As it stands, she's trying to come to terms with it now.
That's a start, yes?

This is Funky, and that is all.