Tuesday, June 21, 2005

The Evil Co-Worker

So there's this chick that works in the office next to mine. I guess she's supposed to be my superior or something, but since she has no idea what I do or how I do it, I'm inclined to ignore her ignorant ass as often as possible. Unfortunately she still manages to piss me off with her catty behavior.

(1) She's a mooch. She is constantly trying to get some kind of food or beverage item for free. Keep in mind that this woman who earns in excess of $80k/yr (I also dabble in payroll) bums coffee of the secretary who makes $40k/yr, breakfast & snack items off the secretary who makes $17k/yr, and frequently orders HER superior to cough up quarters for the pop machine.
(2) She's a louse. Consider Friday afternoon when she approaches my desk and says, "Why are you still here? It's 10 til 4" to which I respond, "My hours are 8 - 4." She looks at me and says, "Oh, I must have forgotten to tell you. [Insert MY Boss' name here] told me to let you go at 3 today." I stare at her blankly for several seconds and then ask her if she's kidding. She swears to me that she is not, and then flatly apologizes and walks away.
(3) She's a bitch. No, not in a good way. In a very bad, bitchy way. I found a recipe that sounded oh-so-yummy and I really wanted to fix it for dinner last night. So when I ran to the grocery for my weekly lunch items, I picked up the necessary ingredients to fix a nice healthy dinner for may family. Since the mini-fridge in my office is full of shit my other co-workers bring in but never eat, I took my groceries over to the other office fridge. This evil woman must have sensed the presence of food because she was on me in under 3 seconds.

IT: What's that?
ME: Ingredients for tonight's dinner.
What's in there? Is it anything I can eat?
Nothing you could eat. It's ground chicken, feta cheese, black olives...
Gross! What are you doing with that?
I'm making feta-stuffed chicken on whole wheat pita.
That's disgusting.
I love cheese (trying to be positive) so I think it will be good.
If I had to eat that way, I'd stay fat.
Silence
I don't know why you're eating that way. If you'd just stop pigging out, you'd lose weight naturally.
Open jaw
Anyway, that sounds disgusting. Good luck with that diet.*snorts