Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Ain't It a Bitch!

Well, I've heard from many of you this evening regarding Blogger's Blackout, so who even knows if this post will make it to cyberspace, but what can I say... I'm an addict.

Today -- ah today.

My courtroom today consisted of some drama major throwing shit at his soon-to-be-ex-wife... for 3 fucking hours. I mean, he layed it on T.H.I.C.K. So thick, in fact, that I'm certain he is full of shit.

My afternoon was spent proof-reading a transcript prepared by one of my (and there are only 2) underlings. Nightmare? Let's see... last time I checked:

"Surcharge" is one word, not spelled nor pronounced "Sir Charge."
"Thank you" is NOT hyphenated.
Oh, and here's my favorite:

*Cue Funky calling said underling"

FUNKY: Hey Hon, you're doing pretty good, but I need to give you a heads-up. Whenever possible, don't abbreviate... you know... like if the Judge says 'as soon as possible' or, 'okay', you spell out the whole word.

UNDERLING: Uh, what do you mean?

FUNKY: Well, instead of spelling it "OK", you spell it out, "O.K.A.Y", got it?

UNDERLING: Well, I suppose.

*Phone rings two minutes later*

UNDERLING: I have a question.

FUNKY: Sure, go ahead.

UNDERLING: Well, I get the whole "ASAP" thing, but I'm lost on "okay."

FUNKY: What do you mean?

UNDERLING: Well, you know... why do you have to spell out the "K" in "OK", but not the "O".

Yes, Kids, she IS a natural blonde. Henceforth (which is also one word, and not two as is "hents fourth") I shall spell the affirmative response, "ohkay", in order to be phonetically correct.

Come on Blogger, work that voo-doo that you do so (not) well. Ohkay? Ohkay!

This is Funky, and that is all.