Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Random Happenings That Explain My Current State of Insanity

First, thank you for asking about Mom. She's home now, but they don't really know what happened. At least she didn't have a stroke. This is good. What is bad is that she either has some mysterious illness (and no Dr. House to diagnose it and provide Funky with eye candy) or two, she is playing possum. The later would NOT be the first time for that particular explanation to rise to the top.

Instead of droning on about that, I wanted to share two conversations with my children that have occurred since they returned from their dad's house.

While driving to the mall (shudder the thought) on Sunday, I tried to put some perspective on Christmas giving. Each year their wants escalate, and each year I find myself with a ransom note disguised as a Christmas list.

Funky: You know, Christmas is supposed to be about the joy of forgiveness. It's all about the Baby Jesus. I don't get this "presents" thing. I don't know why we don't give gifts on Thanksgiving, since that's the day we're supposed to honor and be thankful for our family.

Bug Children: Well, the Baby Jesus got presents, so you know... it's to honor the Baby Jesus. He got presents, and we remember his birth by GETTING presents.

Funky: Oh really? Fine! This year you get three presents; in honor of the Baby Jesus, you get deoderant, air freshener, and a golden chicken McNugget.

Bug Children: *grasshoppers chirping*

Last night Cuddlebug hit me up about skipping out on his class field trip. Why? I'm pretty sure it had to do with assigned seating and said seating not being with his rowdy buddies.

Cuddlebug: Can you pick me up before 3rd period so I don't have to go?

Funky: No, I have a job, dorkass.

Cuddlebug: Can I stay home from school?

Funky: Golly...let me think... NO!

Cuddlebug: I don't want to go to this Christmas play! Why are they forcing their Christian religion down my throat????!!!! (WHERE does he GET this stuff?)

Funky: Buddy, you're a Christian, remember?

Cuddlebug: Well, can I be a Buddhist just for tomorrow?

Yes, conversations like these always happen on the backside of Thanksgivings like that. Yes, this explains why I maintain a healthy level of insanity that sheilds me from the troubles of life.

This is Funky, and that is all.