In 5...4...3...2...

I'm looking at the clock, watching... waiting... I'm almost 37.

I'm actually looking forward to my birthday. How weird is that?

I've always HATED my birthday. I always set these huge expectations for some kind of magical day where everyone spoils me and tells me how fabulous I am. So when nothing magical occurs, I get pissy.

So I'm wondering why on EARTH I'm looking forward to my birthday? Well, I'm not so much wondering as I am standing in wonderment.

Here are a few traditions that I'm not observing this year.

We're NOT going to have a fancy dinner and a grown-up date. I told LoveBug to rest his little foot and I'll heat up a Nutrisystem entree and we'll catch AI.

I'm also NOT having birthday cake... not at work, not at home, not in secret.

So I've been thinking about how I want to celebrate the big 37, since I won't be blowing out candles. I could blow other things... but you know, it's MY birthday, right?

I decided to send 37 magical wishes out into the universe... one for each year I've been blessed to walk this wonderful earth.

(1) LoveBug will be back on his feet in two months.
(2) CadiBug and CuddleBug will fly through their FCATS without breaking out in hives.
(3) I will graduate this spring with a 4.0
(4) Manatees will NOT be taken off the endangered species list until they're no longer endangered.
(5) Scott will win his custody battle.
(6) #1 will find peace in spite of her mother's neglect.
(7) Scott will buy #3 a rat.
(8) #2 will also heal in record time.
(9) My mom will finally find her joy and song.
(10)Speaking of songs... I will finally see what a royalty check looks like.
(11) Marianna will find a way to get to Italy.
(12) Tim and Suz will thrive in their new jobs.
(13) I will be a milf before the year is through.
(14) We'll elect a democrat govenor.
(15) He will save the manatees and the Florida wetlands and the Scrub.
(16) The Bugs' dad will move to Florida.
(17) Scott and his crew will follow shortly thereafter.
(18) I'll make five new friends and we'll have coffee together... a lot.
(19) Nick Lachey will find someone hotter than Jessica Simpson, and live happily ever after.
(20) New Orleans will rise again.
(21) I'll spend a weekend at Atlantis in the Bahamas.
(22) I'll get more than three lottery numbers.
(23) My sister will smile every day.
(24) My kids will start to like each other, or at least pretend to when I'm in the same room with them.
(25) I'll forget what peanut butter cookies taste like.
(26) My ex mother-in-law will stop sending my kids peanut butter cookies.
(27) My dog will stop peeing in the house.
(28) No more soldiers will die.
(29) Tolerance will become the new black.
(30) My pile of laundry will disappear.
(31) Bloggers will stop hating on other Bloggers.
(32) Sephora will open up a store in my city.
(33) My kids will learn how to carry dishes to the sink.
(34) Christians will start acting like Christ again.
(35) I'll find something about the gym to look forward to.
(36) One of my photos will sell.
(37) I'll get to meet more of my wonderful Blogger friends.

Cool... it's like a to-do list that comes written on scented stationary, with a little genie attached and shit.

Happy Birthday to Me
Happy Birthday to Me
Happy Birthday Little Funky
Happy Birthday to Me.

In 5... 4... 3... 2...

This is Funky, and that is all.