Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Kim Says I'm Having an Identity Crisis

So by now you've all checked your bookmarks to make sure you're in the right place, haven't you? I assure you, you are. FunkyBug has sold her collection of butterflies and purchased a bar. Pull up a stool, and let me get you a martini. I'll tell you a story and then we can take the tour.

I started blogging back in November of '04 because I was tired of trying to update my webpage's diary. It was a LOT of work, and I don't like lots of work. I'd been hearing about these blog things for awhile, so I decided to get myself one and link it off my webpage. You'll notice that my webpage is no longer affiliated with my blog. There's a reason for that, but I think we're jumping ahead of ourselves.

I fell in LOVE with the blogging community. Instead of having one of a million webpages in the universe, I had this little ol' blog in a slightly smaller but much more fascinating pond. Within weeks I decided that my blog looked gross. I commissioned a new template, but I really had no idea what I wanted. I called my blog The Wisdom of Funky Bugs because "Funky Bug" was my screen name elsewhere, and wisdom was what I longed for the most in life. So the designer shopped around for some bug-related images, and there it was -- my template.

Oh -- do you want that martini dirty? One olive or two? Okay, where were we?

After a few months, I started writing things I would never want the "real" world to know about. I just couldn't stop myself. I had to bitch about my mom, my kids, my co-workers and friends. The link from my website (bearing my real name) to this blog suddenly disappeared. It was like cutting a string and letting the kite sail to the sky. I was free.

If there's anything I've learned over the last year of blogging, it's that my friends here in the blogosphere make me a better person. I've seen glimpses of true humility and the incredible power of the human spirit. I've found myself praying for people I've never met. I've had strangers send me beautiful works of art, or visit my husband in the hospital. I've had authors send me books. I've had hackers teach me HTML. I've made friends who are willing to tutor me in biology via Yahoo!Instant Messenger.

My new template is not an identity crisis, dearest MongaKim. It's a thank-you to all of you for all you've given to me. I realize that I may never meet most of you, but I do get by with a little help from you all, my friends.

Grab your drink and let me show you around.

The Affiliate Establishments are my other pieces of real estate I've aquired over the past year. HNT Archives is a gallery I hang my works at. Adventures in Cyberia is neighborhood where I play with my blogger friends. La Meme is a shoebox under my bed where I stuff all my Meme tags.

Regulars are the non-blogger people I mention on a regular basis... namely, my family. You'll see them from time to time, drinking my liquor or stealing my pretzels.

Seated at the VIP table will be a blogger I'm trying to get you guys to socialize with. If you stop by and you see someone you've never met before, please pull up a chair and chat with them. Drinks are on the house at the VIP table.

Since I get by because of YOU, you all are my bartenders. These are the people that regularly supply me with the stuff I need and love. If I've missed you, please let me know. I keep this list at the door, and the bouncer can be really nasty if he doesn't recognize you.

The House Band changes as I see fit. I encourage you to play attention when the artist is on stage. My music fits my mood, and it tells you a lot about what kind of service you'll be getting when you come by for drinks.

I know when a new place opens up, it's not always easy to find it. I posted the Directions because apparantly this is how other people have found their way to the bar -- at least that's what the keyword people tell me.

If you wake up the next day and you feel hungover, you've probably had too much to drink. Try a bit of the Hair of the Dog that bit you -- somewhere in my archives you'll probably find the remedy.

I drink here often, and as such, I have quite a Bar Tab. These are the places I'm in debt to.

So listen, I need to go mingle now. Feel free to have another drink, and stick around for the show. There's a good seat at the table up front.

This is Funky, and that is all.