Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Bug & Bees

Says Me: They're back.

Says LoveBug: Who's back?

The wasps. They're back.

No, they aren't - they can't be. I sprayed their nest.

Well, they built another one.


Fuck if I know how - they are WASPS in Florida. Maybe they applied for a FEMA loan!

How do you know they're back?

The mail lady left another note.

May I approach the bench, your honor? I present, Exhibit #1: The Note

So what should I do?

Spray them again.


Spray them again.

Me? Spray?

Your Honor, may I approach the bench again? I'd like to present Exhibit #2: A simulated photograph of what happens to me when stinging things are near.

If you don't spray, the mail lady will not deliver the mail.

Why can't you spray?

I can, but I won't be home for two days. Just spray them and run.

Okay - well, you know...I just want to let you know that I haven't done the dishes yet. Given that I'll be dying in about five minutes, I just thought you should know they'll be waiting for your return.

Okay - that shouldn't be a problem. Love you.

I've loved you too, dear. Please remember that when I'm gone.

Your Honor, for the record, Exhibits #3 - 6.