Tuesday, November 15, 2005

His Stupid Mouth

Two words:

"Cafeteria Scene"

That was the best television in decades. I haven't seen dialogue like that since the second season of Friends. Thanks, House. I needed the distraction.

I'm kind of at a loss with this parenting thing. Tell me how a perfectly sweet, absolutely loveable and adorable child can suddenly become an asshole?

My daughter was bitchy, but she was never disrespectful to any adult but me.

My son? Lord in Heaven help me, he mouths off to anyone that crosses him.

First referral: Mouths off to his math teacher.
Second referral: Tells said math teacher "I hope you get fired."
Third referral: Tells SAME math teacher to clean out his vagina.
Okay, actually one student in this little mob my son apparantly associates with asked the math teacher, "Don't you have anything better to do?" to which my son quips "Like clean out your vagina?" Said math teacher is of the male variety and does not at all have a vagina.

Third referral means, most likely, that all my attempts at trying to teach my now-13 year old son to be respectful have failed, and he is at the mercy of the school board. He very well may be finishing his 7th grade year at a discipline school.

I don't get this; I thought I was setting a better example. I thought I was raising my kids to take pity on the persecuted and love the unloveable. I thought I stressed that "fries with that" was the only future for a kid who doesn't value the opportunity to educate him/herself. I thought, at the very least, I had taught them that when you fuck with authority, you get fucked in return.

I vascillate between thanking God that he's not robbing liquor stores and sniffing markers, and wondering how on earth he's going to make it to adulthood.

If you work a full-time job for fourteen years, you usually get some vacation time. I'm thinking it's time to call Dr. Happy Pill and request he put me back on Lexipro.