My Birthday + Lent

This has been the best birthday evah'! I can't remember when I felt so much love and contentment. I didn't look for magic... I FELT magicAL!

Then someone reminded me that Lent starts at sundown.

What the FUCK am I supposed to give up?

Blogging:

Are you fucking KIDDING me? No way in HELL. You would totally forget about me, and I'd have to start from scratch all over again. Besides, I can't live without my bloggy friends for six weeks. That's OUT.

Chocolate:

Well, durh... I'm on a DIET. Giving up chocolate for me would totally be cheating the baby Jesus. Same goes for alcohol and Little Debbie Snack Cakes. Not gonna work. Nope.

Caffeine:

Oh sure... that would be FINE for you guys... but my co-workers would strangle me if I traded my morning joe for morning prayer. Nuh-uh.

Smoking:

Okay -- see "Chocolate" and then imagine me without some vice. I just paid $300.00 for Nutrisystem food. If I give up smoking, I'll eat the whole crate in two days. Sorry. Next?

Television:

What? Miss American Idol? Grey's Anatomy? The finale of Flavor of Love? I'm sorry, baby Jesus... let's try again.

Swearing:

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Fuck no.

It's not that I don't love me some Jesus... I really do. I'm totally down with the whole sacrificing Himself so I don't have to suffer the penalty for the stupid shit I do. But fact of the matter is, I'm stretched thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis thin... and I'm not sure I have anything left to give Him right now. I imagine He knows this... but just in case...

I'm giving up the concept of giving up something up for Lent.

What?!? You have a better idea? Fine... you know where the comment box is.

This is Funky, and that is all.