Wednesday, March 01, 2006

My Birthday + Lent

This has been the best birthday evah'! I can't remember when I felt so much love and contentment. I didn't look for magic... I FELT magicAL!

Then someone reminded me that Lent starts at sundown.

What the FUCK am I supposed to give up?


Are you fucking KIDDING me? No way in HELL. You would totally forget about me, and I'd have to start from scratch all over again. Besides, I can't live without my bloggy friends for six weeks. That's OUT.


Well, durh... I'm on a DIET. Giving up chocolate for me would totally be cheating the baby Jesus. Same goes for alcohol and Little Debbie Snack Cakes. Not gonna work. Nope.


Oh sure... that would be FINE for you guys... but my co-workers would strangle me if I traded my morning joe for morning prayer. Nuh-uh.


Okay -- see "Chocolate" and then imagine me without some vice. I just paid $300.00 for Nutrisystem food. If I give up smoking, I'll eat the whole crate in two days. Sorry. Next?


What? Miss American Idol? Grey's Anatomy? The finale of Flavor of Love? I'm sorry, baby Jesus... let's try again.


It's not that I don't love me some Jesus... I really do. I'm totally down with the whole sacrificing Himself so I don't have to suffer the penalty for the stupid shit I do. But fact of the matter is, I'm stretched thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis thin... and I'm not sure I have anything left to give Him right now. I imagine He knows this... but just in case...

I'm giving up the concept of giving up something up for Lent.

What?!? You have a better idea? Fine... you know where the comment box is.

This is Funky, and that is all.