Sunday, May 15, 2005

It's Good to be Queen

If you're drunk with power, what does that hang-over feel like? Really, someone warn me... because I'm binging on the glorious nature of parenting three teenagers. Here's the brief run-down...

Incident: CuddleBug decides to mouth off to a teacher on Friday.
Result: CuddleBug cannot have friend spend the night.
Follow-up Incident: CuddleBug says various, "I hate you/you're ruining my life" remarks, then finishes his rage by taking his skateboard to his bed and busting all the headposts off.
Result: An entire weekend of Work Detail (and anger management therapy)

Incident: CadyBug is having a party and asks if a friend can come over early. I decline, so CadyBug and her step-sister BookWorm decide to smuggle said friend into the house under my nose.
Result: CadyBug has to pay for the party herself, AND participate in three hours of work detail.

Incident: Aside from participating the in the illegal alien incident, BookWorm knowingly breaks VERY IMPORTANT HOUSE RULE # 9, no laying on the back of the couch. When I walk in the house, BookWorm slides off the couch and pretends to be sleeping. BookWorm is now seriously pushing the bounderies of my patience. Then BookWorm decides to borrow my $100 flattening iron without permission, subsequently gunking it up with hair products.
Result: Three hours of Work Detail

Why am I drunk with power? All three of my lovely teenage children are sweating their asses off in the backyard, under the supervision of LoveBug. They are pulling weeds, raking leaves, and stuffing bags. I am sitting in my office with a cold diet coke listening to the sounds of my road crew getting their asses busted by Warden LoveBug. Ultimate end result: My backyard is one step closer to landscaping with absolutely no effort or expense on my part.

It's good to be queen.