Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Interview with a Vamp - Part 3

If you had to choose between a live-in housekeeper, a full-time chef, or a personal trainer, which would you choose.

I've chosen to answer this question pictorally.

My house (during finals week):

My Food Supplies (during finals week):

My fat ass (pretty much all the time):

Obviously, all services are needed here at Bug Manor. However, since I have a penchant for designer purses, my funds limit me to one slave, er, persona de servicio. If I hire a full-time chef, I'm only going to need the trainer all that much more. So, I've opted for a live-in housekeeper. After combing through Craig's List, I've chosen this man to service me, er, my household:

Antonio de Medici - my live-in housekeeper.

Being that there are no extra bedrooms, I've graciously allowed Antonio to share my bedroom. It's not as crowded as it seems - you see, my husband travels weekly for his job and is out of town at least two nights a week. So while Antonio must sleep at the foot of my bed most of the time, he will have the luxury of downquilting at least part of the time. Antonio, deaf since birth, is immune to my snoring. Also, being slightly near-sighted, he is unable to appreciate the fullness of my person, and thus thinks I am his patroness-goddess. I realize that Antonio has his work cut out for him, and will have to work many long hours toiling and sweating to restore Casa de Destructo to it's full glory. As a courtesy, I've selected a uniform that is both functional and practical for the task:

Tomorrow's Question: 4. What is your strongest childhood memory and how has it shaped the way you currently live your life?