Wednesday, October 19, 2005


Did I clear the room? Damn.

Please grab an adult beverage (or spike your coffee if you're at work) and enjoy the show. Today we are discussing cursing.

Four-Letter Word

So is that it? Really? Fuck. Shit. Damn. Piss. Hell. Yeah, they all have four letters. So is that the qualification or the limitation? Can I just take four letters, throw them together, then yell them out the car window when my road rage kicks in?
If that's not the qualification, it must be the limitation. But if so, where does that leave, bastard, asshole, and bugger? Not to mention bloody, the worst of all curses... not even close to four letters.


I had some lady tell me that 'fuck' was an acronymn standing for Fornication Under Consent of the King. I call bullshit. Elvis wasn't even alive when this word started making the rounds.

Kids and Cussing

"That's MY fucking phone!" I hear her scream from the other side of the room. Yes, that's the lovely mouth of my fourteen-year old daughter. Other than telling her to GIVE her brother her "fucking phone" I have to smile just a little bit. Years ago, "poop" would have garnered a mouth full of Dove. So why do I let my kids cuss? Well, it's not so much that I let, as I don't forbid. Yes, I tell them to mind their mouths around their mother, but aside from that, there are no penalties for uttering profanities in my house. I want them to understand the power of words -- fully comprehend that each selected syllable carries a weight that is not recognized by a great portion of our neighbors and countrymen. Additionally, dropping a hammer on your big toe demands an explicative. "Fuzz-Bunnies!" just doesn't help the pain go away.

So, if you're ever in the neighborhood and you hear a stream of sailor-worthy words stream forth from my humble abode, please don't run in fear. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but "monkey-fucking moron" will never hurt you. Unless of course, my kids follow it up by flinging sticks and stones at you.