Sunday, March 26, 2006

Greetings from the Mouth of the Rat

We're all checked in and cozy in Boca Raton. I just had a lovely smoke break on the balcony overlooking the pool I shall spend tomorrow lounging by.

I think as time passes, I'm finding my way in this world again. I've learned that kids make mistakes, and the bigger they get, the bigger their mistakes. And that's okay as long as they have a good, firm place to land. My kids have that.

Since starting NutriSystem other things have changed as well. I have boundless energy, and with that comes a new lease on life, as trite as that may sound. I look at the world in a way that is entirely different. It's not the weight loss, it's the healthy things I put into my body on a daily basis that have made a huge difference already.

I'm finally at home with myself. I bet you never knew I was homeless, did you? Well, I was. And now, I'm not.

So I sit here in my hotel room, in the Mouth of the Rat, and I can see that life is truly, very, very good.

And I see that though I've been silent, you've been coming around. And that warms my heart. I can appreciate you all in a new way as well. Once I thought my blog friends were my rock... but now I see you all as diamonds.

And when I crawl out of the Rat's Mouth, I'll come by to let you know how much I appreciate you all.

Blessings and Peace.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Just Felt Like Checking In

I'm taking a break from the "other stuff"... CadiBug is reveling in her newly regained computer priveledges, CuddleBug is sleeping off a rough day of sleeping through class (ain't growth spurts a bitch) and LoveBug is working his little tush off at 8pm at night, making calls and keeping the contacts going.

This means for fifteen minutes or so, I can blog.

And I wanted to, if just to tie up some loose ends.

The Leg:
We got gooooooood news from the Doc today. He says GimpyBug will be LoveBug again in about four more weeks. Bye-bye crutches, hello clutches. That boy will be back to business as usual in just a wee bit.

The Diet:
After my first month on Nutrisystem, I've lost 14 pounds. Go me. I love the program, LOVE the food... just happy as a clam.

The Family:
It's quiet, it's peaceful, and no one has been "almost arrested" in several weekends. Let's break out the wine, shall we?

Next week is Spring Break, and I'll be out of town. The ex is driving down to spend the week with our kids, and I get to drive GimpyBug all over Boca Raton so he can do that thing he loves to do; work. Yeah, I don't get it either.

Lastly, I've gotten to play with the LensBaby I got for my birthday. Here's a few shots I'm rather happy with.

You can see the rest of my LensBabies by clicking on the flickr banner over there in my sidebar... then click on my profile. Blogger is being bitchy and it's taking forever to load a simple photo.

I miss you -- all of you. I've been lurking, I really have. Check your stat counter ;)

This is Funky, and that is all.

Saturday, March 18, 2006


I think the hardest thing about raising your children MUST be surviving the teen years.

I'm looking at my daughter right now and what I see is visages of my baby mixed in with someone I realize I don't really know at all. I push past those incredibly long eyelashes into those windex-blue eyes and I recognize them from a long time ago. But the spirit behind those eyes is at times unrecognizable. I realize this is my fault.

I stopped blogging because I was failing as a mom. When you look at your children and find you do not know them, you have made a fatal turn in the road you pledged to drive the day they were born.

Because that road was abandoned, we had an accident. I let her take the wheel and she left the road and crashed into tree.

The call you never want to receive as a parent starts out like this:
"Good evening, this is Officer So-and-So. Are you the parent of X?"

That's why I left. I had to clean up the accident and teach her how to drive this road. I also had to teach myself again.

I know this figurative speak isn't really helping anyone figure out what exactly happened. Honestly, it's because I'm beyond focusing on her mistakes. We've spend a few weeks together focusing on what caused her to make the decisions that she made.

And I'm looking at her now, and I think I'm starting to get to know her again. And that's really the most important thing I can do. Whatever purpose I may have in this life, the most important thing is to raise my kids to go out into this world and be safe --- even when Mom isn't around to ground them when they get caught.

As for this blog, I can't tell you were it goes from here. Part of me itches to write. Part of me misses the social contact with friends I've made. But in these last two weeks I have gained so much... done so many important things with the time I've recaptured. I have taken walks with my husband, taken pictures with my soul, and giggled with my kids.

I don't know, quite honestly, if I have the time for this anymore... at least not the way it was before.

So for awhile, it may look quite strange around here. You may not see me daily... you may not see me weekly. You may, if you look, see a different person altogether.

And that's because I just realized that I don't recognize myself anymore either. And I need to get back on THAT road as well.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Monday, March 06, 2006

I Interrupt This Blog...

I'm sorry -- I can't explain...just can't really go into it right now.

But she needs me.

And I need to be there for her.

I'll be back soon.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Updated Saturday Morning 'Cause I 'unt' to.

Wha? She blogs on Saturday? What the hell?

Yeah... well, I've been talking my poor husband's ear off all morning. I think he went to the bathroom to get away from me. So I'm going to type your eyeballs off now.

The audioblog below this is the one from Thursday night. This is the recap of sorts, with the promised photo of Slutty/Ugly.

M'kay. So I talked about my adventures with weight loss, and I'll talk more about that Monday when I continue my Me-Me. Therefor, I'll skip the recap on that particular subject.

I also mentioned in my audioblog that Slutty/Ugly returned to the fold. Seems that week she missed was just a week she was skipping. She returned the following week, and she was the same old S/U that I've come to loathe. My god, the kid has no shame. She bounces off the walls and makes her presence known in such a manner that I actually feel uncomfortable FOR her.

So last Thursday's class started out great. I was chatting it up with some classmates, one of whom shares my birthday. She was showing me the new camera her mommy gifted her with, so I took out my little Elph that my darling husband bought for me. My professor wanted to see it -- thought it was "really cool" and proceeded to take this photo.

I'm not proud of the large green monster in the foreground, but I show it to you now in the form of my "before" picture. As things were going smashingly well and the attention was NOT on her at all, S/U proceeded to command the attention of the entire class by announcing she had NO film. The stupid cow didn't even do the friggin' assignment and tried to "cute" her way out of it. Since my professor had already opened the door for me to take photos, here is the evidence to show that her attempts to charm my professor failed.

And here's a much better picture of the professor I've come to adore again.
Couldn't you just eat him with a spoon? He's so adorable.

And to round out this post, here's what I got for my birthday.

This (in Rockstar Red, of course):

And this (with additional macro lens accessory):

Which does stuff like this:

I'm going to take my lensbaby out this weekend and play with it. IF I get some cool shit, I'll drop it online and give you a heads up.

Have a beautious weekend...and have a drink on me.

Oh, and here's that audioblog thing.

this is an audio post - click to play

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Lent -- I Figured it Out

I'm giving up HNT for Lent.


Just kidding.

I gave up talk radio.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

My Birthday + Lent

This has been the best birthday evah'! I can't remember when I felt so much love and contentment. I didn't look for magic... I FELT magicAL!

Then someone reminded me that Lent starts at sundown.

What the FUCK am I supposed to give up?


Are you fucking KIDDING me? No way in HELL. You would totally forget about me, and I'd have to start from scratch all over again. Besides, I can't live without my bloggy friends for six weeks. That's OUT.


Well, durh... I'm on a DIET. Giving up chocolate for me would totally be cheating the baby Jesus. Same goes for alcohol and Little Debbie Snack Cakes. Not gonna work. Nope.


Oh sure... that would be FINE for you guys... but my co-workers would strangle me if I traded my morning joe for morning prayer. Nuh-uh.


Okay -- see "Chocolate" and then imagine me without some vice. I just paid $300.00 for Nutrisystem food. If I give up smoking, I'll eat the whole crate in two days. Sorry. Next?


What? Miss American Idol? Grey's Anatomy? The finale of Flavor of Love? I'm sorry, baby Jesus... let's try again.


It's not that I don't love me some Jesus... I really do. I'm totally down with the whole sacrificing Himself so I don't have to suffer the penalty for the stupid shit I do. But fact of the matter is, I'm stretched thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis thin... and I'm not sure I have anything left to give Him right now. I imagine He knows this... but just in case...

I'm giving up the concept of giving up something up for Lent.

What?!? You have a better idea? Fine... you know where the comment box is.

This is Funky, and that is all.