Saturday, April 29, 2006

The Calm AFTER the Storm

You know that feeling you get right before a big storm hits? I know Floridians know what I'm talking about. You run to CVS for batteries. You make sure your cell phone is fully charged. You beat old ladies over the head with your empty wallet for the last case of water on the Publix shelf. You creep out at night to a back alley to buy a generator from a guy named Fingers. You run and you run and you run in hopes that when the storm hits, you're fully prepared for any disaster.

That's been my life for the last three years.

But what about AFTER the storm? Eventually the winds die down. Eventually the A/C comes back on. Eventually you can flush it if it's yellow OR brown. Eventually you gather with neighbors and chainsaws and return your property to a habitable environment.

Then you let out a sigh and do... what? Prepare for the next storm? Take a hot shower? Then what?

That's where I am this morning. What the HELL am I supposed to do now?
I have an entire weekend, and I don't have to write a paper. I don't have to study for a test. I don't have to run to the bookstore to read through a chapter in my textbook uninterrupted.

I don't have a damned thing that has to be done. Therefore, I do NOT know what do to with myself.

It's the weirdest feeling. I was looking forward to being done with school, and now I'm looking forward to enrolling at FSU and working toward my BA... because I'm use to this striving, and I'm not use to this resting.

So I have filled my day with non-essential tasks in order to give myself something to HAVE to do. I'm going to the mall with one of my girls (the other is in a singing competition in NYC this weekend) and we are going on a quest to find the perfect pair of jeans for her, and the perfect shirt for me. We are going to drive way the hell out of our way to sample sushi at a new restaurant. Later this evening, I'm really going out on a limb. I'm going "out with the girls." I'm going dancing or whatever you call it when a bunch of bitchy, overworked, overtired women get together, bitch about their jobs, then hit a bar. I'm not sure what to wear, do, say, or drink. And even though I'm uncomfortable, I'm doing it anyhow.

Final note: I have officially lost just over 25 pounds now. My size ten shorts still don't fit.

Somewhere in my brain is the thought that I should be celebrating my graduation AND my mini-goal. Somewhere in my husband's brain he knows this will lead to a higher AMEX bill this month.

So, off to the mall with me. Have a blessed weekend.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Well, THAT wasn't so bad now, was it?

One down, one to go. I finished up my Biology final a few hours ago. I know I keep swearing to the heavens that my "virgin 4.0" as one of you put it (cracked me up, by the way) is about to get popped... but I sat down last week and ran some numbers. Because I got a perfect score on the last test (the one I was really sweating), I only needed to score a 60% on the final in order to get an A in the class. So it looks as if my cherry is safe. I'll know on Friday when the professor e-mails me my grade.

Tomorrow I shall be so sad to take my Photography final. I have loved this class more than I can say.

I'm also taking my kids to work with me tomorrow. Since those in the "know" do know where I work, you can imagine this will be quite the eye-opening experience for them. Does the expression "scared straight" ring any bells? Hee hee hee hee hee.

One last thing -- this is for Shephard, who pictures me having coffee with Antonio Banderas.
Thank you from the bottom of my lusty heart. He is the bee's knees, baby. I shall revel in your visualization.

I appreciate you guys who still come by to read my ramblings, even though you know I don't have time to come and read yours. It warms my heart -- truly. But listen, tomorrow is the LAST day of the semester... so you know I'll be back to bothering you again soon, right?

Until then --

This is Funky, and that is all.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Morning Musings

There's something glorious about the still of morning. I don't know why I don't see it more often that I do. Moving the alarm clock to LoveBug's side of the bed kept me from slamming the snooze button as I normally would. Freshly shaven and ready for his first week back to work, my darling woke me with a gentle kiss and a strong cup of coffee. I fought through the haze of slumber and rose long before I needed to.

We had a cup of coffee together before he hit the road. He is almost giddy. I am almost sad. It's nothing short of miraculous that he is healed in such a short time, of that I am quite thankful. However, I'd gotten rather use to him being here day in and day out. And so it was a bittersweet parting, but one I treated as the norm. Funny how quickly we fall back into the routines of old.

I thought about cracking open my biology textbook and getting in a few more minutes of study time, but the writing muse was standing on my shoulder, screaming for me to give her a voice.

And somewhere in the darkness is a chirping bird. I stood in my backyard with my cup of coffee and listened in awe as the bird worked tirelessly to bring on the day. The sun has yet to offer it's reward, but the bird still sings.

The morning in all its glory will be upon me soon. Even sooner I shall shut down my browser and begin the routine of preparing for the routine of work.

But I'm certain of this; the spirit of that bird and the stillness of this quiet morning have imprinted themselves in my soul. I shall carry both with me as I journey. And if it's at all possible, I wish to pass this gift along to as many as possible.

The muse is at a loss as to how we should accomplish that task. She says, quite possibly we are all muddling through some kind of darkness, some groggy, foggy pre-morning state of mind. She says to tell you that somewhere a bird is singing in spite of the obvious lack of light. She says to tell you to go somewhere and sing until the light shines upon you again.

Then she said, "Oh shit... it's time to get ready for work."

This is Funky, and that is all.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Digging my Way Out -- I Need a Manicure Now


(seems like an opening as good as any)

I finally finished that paper. Here's what I learned:

Don't eat anything. You will die.

Seriously -- food is scary. It's fine if you don't CARE what you put in your body, or don't FEAR the effects of growth hormones and modified starches... but if you DO, too bad. They're not labeling this stuff (not required to) so you just don't get to KNOW what you're eating. Jolly good news for paranoid folks such as I. Stupid paper.

I'm mostly checking in because I'll be checking out again. Finals are this week. Happy Happy Joy Joy. I'll be cramming through Wednesday night, then most likely coming down from that for the rest of the week. No promises to be here or be not here. Just a heads up.

I posted my final photography assignment over at my HNT blog because quite frankly it would look ridiculous on this template's background. Go here to see it. I love it more than twinkies (but not Purple Twinkie).

I'm kind of bummed right now -- I've hit a roadbump (hopefully not a plateau) in my weight loss. I'm still eating right (modified foods and all) and exercising, but I'm stuck at a flat 23 lb weight loss. I'll be hitting the gym in a bit, so let's hope I can push myself a little further and break through this stoppage or whatever the hell it is. I'm trying my damnest to lose about 37 pounds before we go on the cruise the first week of June. Right now I'm about 14 pounds short of that. I'm pretty sure I can't lose 14 pounds in six weeks. I guess I could go back to that whole "stop eating food" theory, but then I'd be dead in six weeks, so it wouldn't really matter.

I feel all chatty -- but that' s because I'm supposed to be studying or working out, neither of which I want to do.

But I will.

So until finals are finally over -- yes, the next time you see me, I'll have my AA... which is not at all like joining AA, or using your AAA card. I'll be grad-ju-mated. And then I'll start bitching about declaring my major for the next leg of my ed-ju-ma-cation journey.

Know what's funner than being me? Being my friend. You poor saps.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Eat Me

I have to write a paper on genetically engineered foods. I feel it will consume me. Pun intended.

Be back in a few days.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Fairly Well Rested Now, TYVM.

One of the benefits of working for the gov't is HOLIDAYS off with pay. I took advantage (somewhat) of yesterday's holiday and got some much needed rest. I didn't exactly sleep in -- not in the sense that I slept until I was good and damned ready to rise, but I did set my alarm two hours later. So that was a nice treat.

I met my trainer yesterday. He wasn't entirely evil, but I just don't think he "gets" me. I know these gym-owned trainers have a job to do, and that job is to sell sell sell.

I told him my goal was to hit the gym three times/week for 1/2 hour each time. I realize this is a mini-goal, but it's really important for me to keep it that way because I have to have something that fits into my hectic life. So what does he do? He sets up a program for me to hit the gym four times a week for an hour each time. It was relatively frustrating because the entire session was yack yack yack. I didn't do anything physical outside of a five-minute cardio test and 15 reps of a chest press to guage my muscle resistance. (However, my pecs do hurt a bit this morning, for what it's worth.) He scheduled my second session for Tuesday night to go over the machines. Sigh.

I know that if I COULD hit the gym that often, it would have greater benefits, but I wish he understood that I am trying to make improvements that are within my grasp TODAY. He also recommended I hire him to do private sessions for 8 weeks at $300.00. Yeah. Of course he did.

So anyhow, enough bitching about that. Actually, enough bitching, period.

Today I woke up 23lbs lighter than I did on February 24th.
In just a few moments I'm taking CadiBug and one of her friends to the art museum to see some Warhol exhibits.
Later LoveBug and I will take our cameras out and grab a cup of coffee at our favorite coffee shop. We might even paint some pottery.
Later still, I'll pick up CuddleBug and LighteningBug, and we'll go catch a movie or take a long walk around the lake.

And I suppose tomorrow we'll wrestle all of the kids into their Sunday Best and try to come to some compromise on a house of worship. I'm sure I'll write more about that later.

Have a blessed weekend. Hug everyone. Raise your eyes to the sky, take a deep breath, harness the energy within and without, then exhale. Repeat as necessary until you feel grateful and strong.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Zombie Chronicles

Oh my god I'm sooooooooooooooooooo tired! Day from hell? Not exactly... but definitely a long damned day.

I got to work and all was going according to plan. Type, smoke, type some more, etc... 'Round 'bout 2pm, a small crisis hit. Apparantly an attorney had ordered a transcript to be completed in 20 days as opposed to the normal 30 days. Whoever received the designation didn't notice, and followed protocol, sticking it on the bottom of the ever-growing pile of appeals and such. The attorney called this afternoon because it's due for her hearing at 9am on Monday morning.

This wouldn't have been a problem if we weren't on holiday Friday.

So I thought long and hard about the fact that I basically had two days off this week, and volunteered to be the team player... meaning I volunteered to come in over the weekend and type.

I left work at 5:30 and went to my photography class. After a very brief panel discussion, he let us go at 7:00. So smart me, I decide that I should go BACK to work and finish the transcript, saving myself the agony of working over a three-day weekend.

No sooner did I pull into the drive, change into my pajamas and hit the couch (at 10:30pm), when CadiBug informed me that her throat was swollen and had been all day. She hadn't eaten, and could we please go get some ice cream or popsicles?

So back in the car to wander this one-horse town in search of a gas station or minimart that would sell us said items.

It's now 11:41 and I've been running since 7am.

Tomorrow I meet my personal trainer... at 9am. Bright and early. I can tell you right now I will hate him no matter what he looks like.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

An Unintended Consequence

When I stepped away from The Bar last month, it was an act of necessity. I knew the time spent blogging and such would be better spent with my family. I intended to spend more time with my family. I didn't intend for my blog to go downhill or anything like that. But guess what? I totally needed it to. What I mean by that is, when I started blogging, I did it to write and stuff like that. Then I got this mad-assed blogger-fame thing going on in my brain. My writing changed to fit my readership. If I wrote something that got LOTS of comments, I wrote more of that. If something got just a FEW comments, I wrote less of that in the future. I went out fishing for comments. I actively pursued a comment count that would top 20/post on a regular basis. When I surpassed that, I tried to scale down, but the counts kept climbing.

So at the time I bowed out for a bit, I was getting at least 30/day... and I felt it was only right to return the visit. So I'd write for awhile, then comment for the better part of each evening.

Tiring, right? Absolutely.

So for the last few weeks that I've stayed away from commenting, I've noticed my counts going back down. This makes me HAPPY! (What? Yes, happy.) You see, what I feel like I'll have when all is said and done, is maybe ten or fifteen good bloggy-friends that I share with on a regular basis, as opposed to a sea of strangers that only came around to get me to comment on their blogs. Ah, Nirvana.

You ten or fifteen are still coming around, and you've noticed that I've been back around to see you as well, haven't you?

The Unintended Consequence: I've left the Blogging for Popularity gig and gotten back to the basics. Damn it feels good to be me.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

No, Seriously, God... Where's the Candid Camera?

So, I took the day off work today to study for my killer test tomorrow. Sounds good, right?

I spent the afternoon in the ER.

CadiBug has fractured the growth plate in her wrist.


And she has a cast. On her right arm. And she's right-handed.

Maybe I should have majored in nursing. Or abnormal psychiatry.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Restocking the Bar

I've stopped and started a dozen times.

It even feels as if the curser is cursing me. Blink. Blink. Blink.

Do I pick right up where I left off, or offer yet another reason as to why I'm just not blogging anymore?

To be honest, it's too soon to pick right up where I left off. I know in my heart that I just don't have the time right now to be one of those schedule-y bloggers... one of those comment-y bloggers, one of the faithful ones.

The bar will always be open, even if it's sporadic. I just need to take inventory and see what libations are appropriate for the change in seasons.

In the meantime, I think I'll just chat a bit... because while the curser curses, my fingers twitch with a desire to write something.

We'll just call this Bug's Bits.

I've been listening to country music again. As a result, I want to start writing again. (Andy, I haven't forgotten the story. I'll share with you one day soon.) I also want to start singing again. Technically I never stopped singing... I just stopped doing it outside of my car... I also stopped doing it well.

I joined a gym and started working out. I love Tai Chi. I could do it every day for the rest of my life. It hurts like a bitch the next day, though.

I've lost 21 pounds now. I'm starting to feel a might bit sexy. Not all the way though. Especially not naked.

School is royally kicking my ass. I think (and yes, Lu, I mean it this time) I am on the eve of my first "B". Hello "B", goodbye 4.0.

Saturday CadiBug chose to hang out with me rather than hang out with her friends. We took pictures. Then I took pictures of her smiling. It was the greatest night. Truly.

LoveBug is away from me for the first night since he returned home with a broken leg. An associate flew in and is driving him around on his calls. I think perhaps I shall sleep on the couch.

CuddleBug flooded his school last week. I asked him why he snuck into the janitor's closet and turned on the water hose. He responded, "I didn't think it would flood the hallway." I'm not sure whether I should sign him up for therapy or Remedial Thinking 101.

I guess you could say that in the grand scheme of things, my sense of humor is serving me well. Next month I'm going to get a new tattoo. It will say, "If found, please return to bed."

This is Funky, and that is all.